No more living in Denial

I know I've been MIA, I know I've been a slacker.  I feel like it would only benefit me to tell you what I've been struggling with.  For close to two years, on and off, I've been dealing with anxiety.  It started with my last pregnancy when I developed hyperemesis gravidarum and then found out that there was a suspected molar pregnancy along with my healthy baby.  I was very sick and there was a lot of uncertainty with my health, the safety of me and my unborn child and added financial responsibilities of adding a new member to our family (who would fit in our current vehicle).  Once the nausea backed down and I could function more "normally", and I found out there was no molar pregnancy or threat to my pregnancy,  things improved.  I became excited instead of anxious. A few months ago, out of nowhere, the anxiety returned.  My personal research has found that postpartum anxiety can be normal so I'm trying to deal with it the best I can.  I'm working with my doctor and trying to make sure that I exercise. I have stopped bottling in my anxiety and instead I am letting my husband know when I am feeling anxious so he knows that I need more help as I tend to get overwhelmed more easily.  It's not been an easy thing for me to deal with.  I inherited the perfectionist gene from my mother and as a SAHM to four small children I feel like I need to be able to "do it all", all the time.  I've learned that I need to let myself have bad days, but also not to let the bad days become a habit.  I need to brush myself off and jump back on the horse.  My anxiety is still not as controlled as I would like, but I think now that I"m at the point where I'm acknowledging it, it's become a little easier for me to try and conquer. 

My current goals are my mental health more than physical fitness, but to me they also tie together.  My physical fitness is going to be centered around workouts I can do without being overwhelmed so that I can feel accomplished and hopefully lessen the blows of anxiety.   I can't promise that I won't have bad days that I want to go into hiding, but I'm coming out of my anxiety closet to have some accountability.  I know this isn't something that I can do all by myself, I need support and encouragement just like everyone else.  On August 1st I'm starting a 10 minute Trainer Challenge Group.   I will be doing it along with the people who sign up so that we can support each other.  There will also be a Challenge within the Challenge where you receive points for your daily posts, encouragement and can win prizes from me.  If this is something you're interested in then message me at my facebook page, Think Fit, Not Skinny for more details.  I hope to hear from you SOON!  Stop making excuses for why you can't make healthier choices.